Lady Adventure

As I sit at work on this inclement day, several questions spring to mind:

1) Why is it that the bad weather never happens in such a way that school is canceled while the roads around my house are totally clear, as opposed to the reverse which happens ALL THE TIME?

2) WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE SHAMPOO IN HERE?????

ETA: DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON!

Happy Birthday, Marge, Dan, and Diana!

I was reading this article which is interesting, but I have several objections:

1) You can't use Nietzsche's brain as an example because of what we like to call a "confounding variable," namely that he was CRAZY FROM SYPHILIS.

2) 2001, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG:
I’m haunted by that scene in 2001. What makes it so poignant, and so weird, is the computer’s emotional response to the disassembly of its mind: its despair as one circuit after another goes dark, its childlike pleading with the astronaut—“I can feel it. I can feel it. I’m afraid”—and its final reversion to what can only be called a state of innocence. HAL’s outpouring of feeling contrasts with the emotionlessness that characterizes the human figures in the film, who go about their business with an almost robotic efficiency. Their thoughts and actions feel scripted, as if they’re following the steps of an algorithm. In the world of 2001, people have become so machinelike that the most human character turns out to be a machine. That’s the essence of Kubrick’s dark prophecy: as we come to rely on computers to mediate our understanding of the world, it is our own intelligence that flattens into artificial intelligence.

First of all, STFU, because Dave is totally awesome, and it's his desire for new knowledge and understanding that allows him to carry on against logic -- because he's totally screwed -- and enables him to achieve enlightenment at the end of the movie (that was the acid trip part, BTW).

Second of all, HAL's tragedy occurs because he's NOT human -- he can't cope with the simultaneous demands of being a fact-based machine while being expected to lie to Dave about the mission's objective. He may be super-intelligent, but he doesn't have the mental flexibility that allows humans to lie, and also be optimistic and creative. So really, the point of the movie is not that AI will be more human than us, it's that we can't EXPECT it to be more human to us, or else we'll get ejected into space. TRY WATCHING THE MOVIE MORE CLOSELY, FOOL.

3) So really, the problem boils down to "our brains are becoming more attuned to the internet at the expense of being less capable of absorbing longer sources of information like books, because we only read the internet"? I think the obvious solution is READ A FUCKING BOOK NOW AND THEN SO YOU CAN DO BOTH. See? You can achieve maximum efficiency IF YOU AREN'T BEING A LAZY DUMBASS.

Aaaaaaaaand the first full week of class is complete! I like all my classes (Shakespeare's Comedies and Histories, Shame and Self-Respect, Worlds of Music, and Phonetics and Phonology), though I did have existential angst about dropping Language Patterns because 1) it looked really interesting, 2) the prof seemed awesome, and 3) there were lots of cool people in it! However, I decided that since I can't write an honors thesis (::grumble::), I'd like to work on my Monroe Slacker's Project instead, and I don't think I'd have enough time to do that with 5 classes. It made me very sad, though.

Last night was exciting fun. We had tea and scones at Katherine's, then played the King Arthur drinking game (not with actual alcohol, though, because A, you would die, and B, we were watching it in a classroom) because Natasha had never seen the movie, although since she didn't really hear a whole lot of the movie over the mockery, I'm not sure how much of it she actually absorbed. However, this is not necessarily a bad thing, since watching Clive Owen ride around in armor is movie enough for me. After that, we went over to David's, met his iiiiiiiiiinteresting middle-aged roommate Tim, and watched Anchorman on Tim's very excellent TV while eating watermelon soaked in Malibu, which was also iiiiiiiiinteresting. When we got back to campus, we ran through all the sprinklers on Barksdale, and it was awesome. Also, wet.

Kirstin called me today to inform me that she bought a silver Dodge Avenger. I told her that "The Silver Avenger" is definitely a superhero name. Fight crime with great gas mileage!

I finished reading The Merchant of Venice for the first time today. Not only did it remind me how awesome this movie was, but it has also led me to the conclusion that Portia is actually a professional secret agent. No one just happens to brilliantly cross-dress, have an intimate knowledge of Venetian law, and have an information network that can determine the status of Antonio's boats before he knows. Super spy!

Finally, link spam!

Wall-mounted keyboards? It must be THE FUTURE! Or anyways, what they thought the future would look like, a hundred years back.

Going along with the theme, this sounds like the AWESOMEST IDEA EVER. Except we obviously couldn't dress up like colonials because no one would notice. I really like the idea of setting off a smoke bomb, then staggering out of the ensuing clouds and going "WHAT YEAR IS IT?" It involves small explosions AND messing with people's heads! (Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics Awesomeness suggests after you receive the answer to yell "NO! I've gone too far! I'VE GONE TOO FAR!!!!!" which I also advocate.)

Finally, the music video of "Rapper's Delight" is proof positive that the 70's was a bad, bad time. Also, one of the more hilarious things I've ever seen. (Watch out for the guy jamming in the background around 3:50). Most rappers nowadays wouldn't be caught dead in a turtleneck, but compared to the leisure suits everyone else is wearing, Master Gee is the baddest mofo to hit the streets. We watched this in Worlds of Music, which should demonstrate the awesomeness of that class.

( Fun with Youtube! )

1) Ninjas make everything more awesome, including bad death scenes
2) If you've ever seen Doctor Who, you might want to pay close attention to "Most Random Line Ever"

Oh, bad movies. Don't ever change.

In addition to my iPod still being sick, it now seems that I, too, am sick, as the scratchy feeling in my eyes and throat that heralds an oncoming cold has appeared. This does not please me.

Also, I spent half an hour this morning completing what is possibly my most terrifying job at work yet. I had to etch numbers into 50 stamps for the student portfolios using a "Vibro-grave" which, though it sounds like some kind of sex toy, is actually a tiny high-speed drill of EV0L, not unlike those used by dentists. The entire time I used this infernal device, visions of severed fingers, maimed hands and gouged eyeballs danced through my head. Fortunately, I emerged from the gauntlet unscathed, despite my increasing paranoia as the job neared its completion that NOW was the time the drill would slip and I would forever be accompanied by the haunting strains of "Frodo of the Nine Fingers". Never again. Next time, I will insist upon a Sharpie, which requires much more ingenuity to cripple one for life.

Saw PotC this weekend. I liked it a lot and thought it was a good sequel to the second one, but the first is still the best. Possibly I will write more on this later, when I am not late from returning from lunch.

In conclusion: Pathetic fallacy is when nature reflects someone's emotions. It happens whenever Shakespeare gets pissed, and then the dude that he's pissed at gets eaten by a bear!

So, on a scale of 1-10, exactly how hard is it to spell your own freakin' name on a scantron test? I'm thinking around -4. Now, I can understand one or two letters going astray if you're in a hurry, but your ENTIRE NAME? OMGWTFUDHS.

In other work news, the Sophomore Center has one of those inspirational posters on the wall (you know, the kind despair.com makes fun of) and it definitely says "Determination: There is no trying, only doing and not doing". Quoting Yoda in any media is always hilarious, but I think this one might win. So that got me thinking that other inspirational posters with Star Wars quotes would probably win at awesome (e.g. Forgiveness: Apology Accepted, Captain Needa). I should make some. I'll take suggestions!

Finally, the Village People once again boldly explore the complexities of human passion,while wearing leather pants.

The wheel stops for no hamster.

I am fascinated.

Also, I love The Mummy.

Book-a-Minute: Wuthering Heights

Now I must write a paper, alas.