i'm totally going to hell for this...
Jan. 8th, 2005 07:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadydaveso, for my medieval book class, i have to read the book of revelation.
oh, st. john of patmos. tangerine trees and marmalade skies, man.
1:16 And he had in his right hand seven stars. And from his mouth came out a sharp two-edged sword.
for some reason, this seems a bit backwards...
2:9 And thou art blasphemed by them that say they are Jews and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan.
pesky satanists.
2:22 Behold, I will cast her into a bed
dun dun DUN
2:23 And I will kill her children with death
thanks for clarifying, there. i was confused.
3:7-11 And to the angel of the church of Philadelphia write: These things saith the Holy One and the true one, he that hath the key of David, he that openeth and no man shutteth, shutteth and no man openeth: I know thy works. Behold, I have given before thee a door opened, which no man can shut: because thou hast a little strength and hast kept my word and hast not denied my name. Behold, I will bring of the synagogue of Satan, who say they are Jews and are not, but do lie. Behold, I will make them to come and adore before thy feet. And they shall know that I have loved thee. Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I will also keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon the whole world to try them that dwell upon the earth. Behold, I come quickly: hold fast that which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
wow. we did something right for once.
3:15-16 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot. I would thou wert cold or hot. But because thou art lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will begin to vomit thee out of my mouth.
apparently, mankind is really some sort of porridge.
4:3 And he that sat was to the sight like the jasper and the sardine stone.
ah, the infamous sardine stone.
4:3 And there was a rainbow round about the throne, in sight like unto an emerald.
so, a green rainbow?
5:6 and behold in the midst of the throne and of the four living creatures and in the midst of the ancients, a Lamb standing, as it were slain, having seven horns and seven eyes
can you stand when you're slain? also, most lambs? not so well-endowed in the eye department.
5:8 And when he had opened the book, the four living creatures and the four and twenty ancients fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps and golden vials full of odours, which are the prayers of saints.
so i guess the prayers of saints don't count for that much...
8:11 And the name of the star is called Wormwood.
and the name of another star was bob.
9:7-10 And the shapes of the locusts were like unto horses prepared unto battle. And on their heads were, as it were, crowns like gold: and their faces were as the faces of men. And they had hair as the hair of women: and their teeth were as lions. And they had breastplates as breastplates of iron: and the noise of their wings was as the noise of chariots and many horses running to battle. And they had tails like to scorpions: and there were stings in their tails.
so basically, they weren't locusts at all.
10:9 And he said to me: Take the book and eat it up.
man, if i had a nickel for everytime that happened to me...
12:4 And behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns and on his heads seven diadems. [...]
13:1 And I saw a beast coming up out the sea, having seven heads and ten horns: and upon his horns, ten diadems: and upon his heads, names of blasphemy.
and the beast is ahead by 3 diadems!
14:2 And the voice which I heard was as the voice of harpers, harping on their harps.
i'm glad that was clarified.
14:8 And another angel followed, saying: That great Babylon is fallen, is fallen; which made all nations to drink of the wine of the wrath of her fornication.
sounds...tasty...
14:19-20 And the angel thrust in his sharp sickle into the earth and gathered the vineyard of the earth and cast it into the great press of the wrath of God: And the press was trodden without the city, and blood came out of the press, up to the horses' bridles, for a thousand and six hundred furlongs.
must have been a bad year.
16:10 And the fifth angel poured out his vial upon the seat of the beast. And his kingdom became dark: and they gnawed their tongues for pain.
so the fifth angel is the angel of enemas?
16:13 And I saw from the mouth of the dragon and from the mouth of the beast and from the mouth of the false prophet, three unclean spirits like frogs.
because frogs are REALLY SCARY.
16:19 And great Babylon came in remembrance before God, to give her the cup of the wine of the indignation of his wrath.
another tasty vintage.
16:20 And every island fled away: and the mountains were not found.
i hate it when that happens.
17:2 And they who inhabit the earth have been made drunk with the wine of her whoredom.
i guess they don't appreciate a good zin.
17:3 And I saw a woman sitting upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns.
what, no diadems?
18:2 And he cried out with a strong voice, saying: Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen: and is become the habitation of devils and the hold of every unclean spirit and the hold of every unclean and hateful bird:
damn pigeons.
18:11 And the merchants of the earth shall weep and mourn over her: for no man shall buy their merchandise any more.
poor ickle capitalists.
18:12-13 Merchandise of gold and silver and precious stones: and of pearls and fine linen and purple and silk and scarlet: and all thyine wood: and all manner of vessels of ivory: and all manner of vessels of precious stone and of brass and of iron and of marble: And cinnamon and odours and ointment and frankincense and wine and oil and fine flour and wheat and beasts and sheep and horses and chariots: and slaves and souls of men.
two of these things are not like the others...
18:21 And a mighty angel took up a stone, as it were a great millstone, and cast it into the sea, saying: With such violence as this, shall Babylon, that great city, be thrown down and shall be found no more at all.
sometimes, you just need a good demonstration.
19:12 And his eyes were as a flame of fire
because there are so many other types of flames
19:16 And he hath on his garment and on his thigh written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.
killer tattoo!
20:4 And I saw seats.
NO! NOT THE SEATS!
22:12 Behold, I come quickly
...
22:20 Surely, I come quickly
i'm sure this means he's walking fast.
yep. definitely going to hell.
oh, st. john of patmos. tangerine trees and marmalade skies, man.
1:16 And he had in his right hand seven stars. And from his mouth came out a sharp two-edged sword.
for some reason, this seems a bit backwards...
2:9 And thou art blasphemed by them that say they are Jews and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan.
pesky satanists.
2:22 Behold, I will cast her into a bed
dun dun DUN
2:23 And I will kill her children with death
thanks for clarifying, there. i was confused.
3:7-11 And to the angel of the church of Philadelphia write: These things saith the Holy One and the true one, he that hath the key of David, he that openeth and no man shutteth, shutteth and no man openeth: I know thy works. Behold, I have given before thee a door opened, which no man can shut: because thou hast a little strength and hast kept my word and hast not denied my name. Behold, I will bring of the synagogue of Satan, who say they are Jews and are not, but do lie. Behold, I will make them to come and adore before thy feet. And they shall know that I have loved thee. Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I will also keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon the whole world to try them that dwell upon the earth. Behold, I come quickly: hold fast that which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
wow. we did something right for once.
3:15-16 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot. I would thou wert cold or hot. But because thou art lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will begin to vomit thee out of my mouth.
apparently, mankind is really some sort of porridge.
4:3 And he that sat was to the sight like the jasper and the sardine stone.
ah, the infamous sardine stone.
4:3 And there was a rainbow round about the throne, in sight like unto an emerald.
so, a green rainbow?
5:6 and behold in the midst of the throne and of the four living creatures and in the midst of the ancients, a Lamb standing, as it were slain, having seven horns and seven eyes
can you stand when you're slain? also, most lambs? not so well-endowed in the eye department.
5:8 And when he had opened the book, the four living creatures and the four and twenty ancients fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps and golden vials full of odours, which are the prayers of saints.
so i guess the prayers of saints don't count for that much...
8:11 And the name of the star is called Wormwood.
and the name of another star was bob.
9:7-10 And the shapes of the locusts were like unto horses prepared unto battle. And on their heads were, as it were, crowns like gold: and their faces were as the faces of men. And they had hair as the hair of women: and their teeth were as lions. And they had breastplates as breastplates of iron: and the noise of their wings was as the noise of chariots and many horses running to battle. And they had tails like to scorpions: and there were stings in their tails.
so basically, they weren't locusts at all.
10:9 And he said to me: Take the book and eat it up.
man, if i had a nickel for everytime that happened to me...
12:4 And behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns and on his heads seven diadems. [...]
13:1 And I saw a beast coming up out the sea, having seven heads and ten horns: and upon his horns, ten diadems: and upon his heads, names of blasphemy.
and the beast is ahead by 3 diadems!
14:2 And the voice which I heard was as the voice of harpers, harping on their harps.
i'm glad that was clarified.
14:8 And another angel followed, saying: That great Babylon is fallen, is fallen; which made all nations to drink of the wine of the wrath of her fornication.
sounds...tasty...
14:19-20 And the angel thrust in his sharp sickle into the earth and gathered the vineyard of the earth and cast it into the great press of the wrath of God: And the press was trodden without the city, and blood came out of the press, up to the horses' bridles, for a thousand and six hundred furlongs.
must have been a bad year.
16:10 And the fifth angel poured out his vial upon the seat of the beast. And his kingdom became dark: and they gnawed their tongues for pain.
so the fifth angel is the angel of enemas?
16:13 And I saw from the mouth of the dragon and from the mouth of the beast and from the mouth of the false prophet, three unclean spirits like frogs.
because frogs are REALLY SCARY.
16:19 And great Babylon came in remembrance before God, to give her the cup of the wine of the indignation of his wrath.
another tasty vintage.
16:20 And every island fled away: and the mountains were not found.
i hate it when that happens.
17:2 And they who inhabit the earth have been made drunk with the wine of her whoredom.
i guess they don't appreciate a good zin.
17:3 And I saw a woman sitting upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns.
what, no diadems?
18:2 And he cried out with a strong voice, saying: Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen: and is become the habitation of devils and the hold of every unclean spirit and the hold of every unclean and hateful bird:
damn pigeons.
18:11 And the merchants of the earth shall weep and mourn over her: for no man shall buy their merchandise any more.
poor ickle capitalists.
18:12-13 Merchandise of gold and silver and precious stones: and of pearls and fine linen and purple and silk and scarlet: and all thyine wood: and all manner of vessels of ivory: and all manner of vessels of precious stone and of brass and of iron and of marble: And cinnamon and odours and ointment and frankincense and wine and oil and fine flour and wheat and beasts and sheep and horses and chariots: and slaves and souls of men.
two of these things are not like the others...
18:21 And a mighty angel took up a stone, as it were a great millstone, and cast it into the sea, saying: With such violence as this, shall Babylon, that great city, be thrown down and shall be found no more at all.
sometimes, you just need a good demonstration.
19:12 And his eyes were as a flame of fire
because there are so many other types of flames
19:16 And he hath on his garment and on his thigh written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.
killer tattoo!
20:4 And I saw seats.
NO! NOT THE SEATS!
22:12 Behold, I come quickly
...
22:20 Surely, I come quickly
i'm sure this means he's walking fast.
yep. definitely going to hell.