Shakespeare Day!
Apr. 23rd, 2010 06:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadydaveWhat's better than Shakespeare? ZOMBIE Shakespeare!
My SHAKSPEARE rise ! I will not lodge thee by
Chaucer, or Spenser, or bid Beaumont lie
A little further, to make thee a room :
Thou art a monument without a tomb,
And art alive still while thy book doth live
And we have wits to read, and praise to give.
-- From To the Memory of My Beloved Master William Shakespeare, and What He Hath Left Us, by Ben Jonson
For the BRAINS!! they raineth every day.
(And what, do Chaucer and Spenser smell? Geez, Jonson.)
As I'm sure you already know, Henry IV, Part 1 is a play of particular awesomeness. So in celebration of Shakespeare Day, I have re-posted my summary from freshmen year, which cleverly notes that practically every single person in the play is named Henry! Fortunately, each Henry has a variety of nicknames, any and all of which may be used at any given time! A handy guide:
KING HENRY IV, aka (Henry/Harry) (of) Bolingbroke, aka that canker'd ingrate
PRINCE HENRY OF WALES, aka (Henry/Harry) (of) Monmouth, aka Hal, aka sweet wag
SIR HENRY PERCY, aka Harry (Percy/Hotspur), aka Hotspur, aka mad-headed ape
HENRY PERCY, 1ST EARL OF NORTHUMBERLAND, aka Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Play
Now, guess which one is which!
The War of IV Henries
HENRY: Woe is me. My son Henry is such a bum. I wish he was more like Henry.
HENRY: Hello, Henry. I am quite cool. You know who else is cool? Mortimer.
HENRY: He is so NOT. You are silly, Henry.
HENRY: ARGH YOU MAKE ME UPSET. WATCH ME DO SOMETHING RASH!
HENRY: Weee! Being a bum is cool. Falstaff, you are fat.
FALSTAFF: Yeah, well go hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters.
HENRY: Let's go do bum things!
HENRY: ARGH HENRY IS SO MEAN.
HENRY: You should totally start a war.
HENRY: Aha! Henry is right! I shall declare war on Henry! He is a stupid jerk.
KATE: Henry, you are such the best Henry ever. ::smoochies::
HENRY: Wee! Highway robbery is fun!
FALSTAFF: Comic relief is fun too!
HENRY: Geez, Glendower, you are so Welsh.
GLENDOWER: Yeah, well I can summon spirits from the vasty deep, how about them apples, eh?
HENRY: Shush. We have a war to plan.
::some random welsh and singing occurs::
HENRY: Being a bum is such fun. Falstaff, you are as fat as a very fat person.
FALSTAFF: Yeah, well you are as skinny as something that's skinny.
RANDOM PERSON: Henry, Henry is sending for you. BUS-TED.
HENRY: Henry, you make me sad.
HENRY: I know, you're sad I'm not more like Henry.
HENRY: You're not, are you? Because he and Henry and some other people totally just declared war on me.
HENRY: Never fear, I shall reform and be the best Henry ever! Together we shall vanquish the forces of Henry!
SOME GUY: Henry, Henry sends tidings that you are a mean jerk and he is totally going to kick your butt and become Henry IV, Part 2.
HENRY: go tell Henry that if he doesn't fight, then I'll let him go on account of him being so cool. Or Henry can fight Henry. Whatever.
SOME GUY: So, are we going to tell Henry?
SOME OTHER GUY: Naah.
::a lot of fighting occurs::
HENRY: Bugger. Henry is not here. Ah well. To war!
DOUGLAS: Are you Henry?
BLOUNT: Yes.
DOUGLAS: Hah! I stab at thee!
HENRY: Dude, that was totally not Henry.
DOUGLAS: Damn.
DOUGLAS: Bloody hell, how many Henries are in this play? are you Henry?
HENRY: I totally am.
DOUGLAS: Have at thee!
HENRY: Don't worry, I'll save you!
::HENRY saves HENRY::
HENRY: Hello, Henry. So we meet again for the first time, for the last time.
HENRY: This name ain't big enough for the two of us.
::HENRY fights HENRY::
HENRY: Alas, you have killed me, Henry. I would totally do stuff, but I'm dead. ::dies::
HENRY: Farewell, Henry. There was no better Henry in the land.
HENRY: Well, now that we've got some of that cleared up, on to the sequel!
HENRY: You know, we have rather a lot of Johns hanging around...
FINIS.
ANSWER KEY:
HENRY IV: Woe is me. My son Prince Harry, aka Hal, is such a bum. I wish he was more like Hotspur.
HOTSPUR: Hello, King Henry. I am quite cool. You know who else is cool? Mortimer.
HENRY IV: He is so NOT. You are silly, Hotspur.
HOTSPUR: ARGH YOU MAKE ME UPSET. WATCH ME DO SOMETHING RASH!
HAL: Weee! Being a bum is cool. Falstaff, you are fat.
FALSTAFF: Yeah, well go hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters.
HAL: Let's go do bum things!
HOTSPUR: ARGH HENRY IV IS SO MEAN.
NORTHUMBERLAND: You should totally start a war.
HOTSPUR: Aha! Dad, aka Northumberland, is right! I shall declare war on King Henry! He is a stupid jerk.
KATE: Harry, aka Hotspur, you are such the best Henry ever. ::smoochies::
HAL: Wee! Highway robbery is fun!
FALSTAFF: Comic relief is fun too!
HOTSPUR: Geez, Glendower, you are so Welsh.
GLENDOWER: Yeah, well I can summon spirits from the vasty deep, how about them apples, eh?
HOTSPUR: Shush. We have a war to plan.
::some random Welsh and singing occurs::
HAL: Being a bum is such fun. Falstaff, you are as fat as a very fat person.
FALSTAFF: Yeah, well you are as skinny as something that's skinny.
RANDOM PERSON: Prince Hal, King Henry is sending for you. BUS-TED.
HENRY IV: Hal, you make me sad.
HAL: I know, you're sad I'm not more like Hotspur.
HENRY IV: You're not, are you? Because he and Northumberland and some other people totally just declared war on me.
HAL: Never fear, I shall reform and be the best Henry ever! Together we shall vanquish the forces of Henry!
SOME GUY: King Henry, Hotspur sends tidings that you are a mean jerk and he is totally going to kick your butt and become Henry IV, Part 2.
HENRY: Go tell Hotspur that if he doesn't fight, then I'll let him go on account of him being so cool. Or Hal can fight Hotspur. Whatever.
SOME GUY: So, are we going to tell Hotspur?
SOME OTHER GUY: Naah.
::a lot of fighting occurs::
HENRY: Bugger. Dad, aka Northumberland, is not here. Ah well. To war!
DOUGLAS: Are you Henry IV?
BLOUNT: Yes.
DOUGLAS: Hah! I stab at thee!
HENRY: Dude, that was totally not Henry IV.
DOUGLAS: Damn.
DOUGLAS: Bloody hell, how many Henries are in this play? Are you Henry IV?
HENRY IV: I totally am.
DOUGLAS: Have at thee!
HAL: Don't worry, I'll save you!
::HAL saves HENRY IV::
HOTPUR: Hello, Hal. So we meet again for the first time, for the last time.
HAL: This name ain't big enough for the two of us.
::HOTSPUR fights HAL::
HOTSPUR: Alas, you have killed me, Harry, aka Hal. I would totally do stuff, but I'm dead. ::dies::
HAL: Farewell, Hotspur. There was no better Henry in the land.
HENRY IV: Well, now that we've got some of that cleared up, on to the sequel!
HAL: You know, we have rather a lot of Johns hanging around...
In conclusion: "Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life!" -- Falstaff, Henry IV, Part 1, Act III Scene 3. Yep, Shakespeare owned you first.
My SHAKSPEARE rise ! I will not lodge thee by
Chaucer, or Spenser, or bid Beaumont lie
A little further, to make thee a room :
Thou art a monument without a tomb,
And art alive still while thy book doth live
And we have wits to read, and praise to give.
-- From To the Memory of My Beloved Master William Shakespeare, and What He Hath Left Us, by Ben Jonson
For the BRAINS!! they raineth every day.
(And what, do Chaucer and Spenser smell? Geez, Jonson.)
As I'm sure you already know, Henry IV, Part 1 is a play of particular awesomeness. So in celebration of Shakespeare Day, I have re-posted my summary from freshmen year, which cleverly notes that practically every single person in the play is named Henry! Fortunately, each Henry has a variety of nicknames, any and all of which may be used at any given time! A handy guide:
KING HENRY IV, aka (Henry/Harry) (of) Bolingbroke, aka that canker'd ingrate
PRINCE HENRY OF WALES, aka (Henry/Harry) (of) Monmouth, aka Hal, aka sweet wag
SIR HENRY PERCY, aka Harry (Percy/Hotspur), aka Hotspur, aka mad-headed ape
HENRY PERCY, 1ST EARL OF NORTHUMBERLAND, aka Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Play
Now, guess which one is which!
The War of IV Henries
HENRY: Woe is me. My son Henry is such a bum. I wish he was more like Henry.
HENRY: Hello, Henry. I am quite cool. You know who else is cool? Mortimer.
HENRY: He is so NOT. You are silly, Henry.
HENRY: ARGH YOU MAKE ME UPSET. WATCH ME DO SOMETHING RASH!
HENRY: Weee! Being a bum is cool. Falstaff, you are fat.
FALSTAFF: Yeah, well go hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters.
HENRY: Let's go do bum things!
HENRY: ARGH HENRY IS SO MEAN.
HENRY: You should totally start a war.
HENRY: Aha! Henry is right! I shall declare war on Henry! He is a stupid jerk.
KATE: Henry, you are such the best Henry ever. ::smoochies::
HENRY: Wee! Highway robbery is fun!
FALSTAFF: Comic relief is fun too!
HENRY: Geez, Glendower, you are so Welsh.
GLENDOWER: Yeah, well I can summon spirits from the vasty deep, how about them apples, eh?
HENRY: Shush. We have a war to plan.
::some random welsh and singing occurs::
HENRY: Being a bum is such fun. Falstaff, you are as fat as a very fat person.
FALSTAFF: Yeah, well you are as skinny as something that's skinny.
RANDOM PERSON: Henry, Henry is sending for you. BUS-TED.
HENRY: Henry, you make me sad.
HENRY: I know, you're sad I'm not more like Henry.
HENRY: You're not, are you? Because he and Henry and some other people totally just declared war on me.
HENRY: Never fear, I shall reform and be the best Henry ever! Together we shall vanquish the forces of Henry!
SOME GUY: Henry, Henry sends tidings that you are a mean jerk and he is totally going to kick your butt and become Henry IV, Part 2.
HENRY: go tell Henry that if he doesn't fight, then I'll let him go on account of him being so cool. Or Henry can fight Henry. Whatever.
SOME GUY: So, are we going to tell Henry?
SOME OTHER GUY: Naah.
::a lot of fighting occurs::
HENRY: Bugger. Henry is not here. Ah well. To war!
DOUGLAS: Are you Henry?
BLOUNT: Yes.
DOUGLAS: Hah! I stab at thee!
HENRY: Dude, that was totally not Henry.
DOUGLAS: Damn.
DOUGLAS: Bloody hell, how many Henries are in this play? are you Henry?
HENRY: I totally am.
DOUGLAS: Have at thee!
HENRY: Don't worry, I'll save you!
::HENRY saves HENRY::
HENRY: Hello, Henry. So we meet again for the first time, for the last time.
HENRY: This name ain't big enough for the two of us.
::HENRY fights HENRY::
HENRY: Alas, you have killed me, Henry. I would totally do stuff, but I'm dead. ::dies::
HENRY: Farewell, Henry. There was no better Henry in the land.
HENRY: Well, now that we've got some of that cleared up, on to the sequel!
HENRY: You know, we have rather a lot of Johns hanging around...
FINIS.
ANSWER KEY:
HENRY IV: Woe is me. My son Prince Harry, aka Hal, is such a bum. I wish he was more like Hotspur.
HOTSPUR: Hello, King Henry. I am quite cool. You know who else is cool? Mortimer.
HENRY IV: He is so NOT. You are silly, Hotspur.
HOTSPUR: ARGH YOU MAKE ME UPSET. WATCH ME DO SOMETHING RASH!
HAL: Weee! Being a bum is cool. Falstaff, you are fat.
FALSTAFF: Yeah, well go hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters.
HAL: Let's go do bum things!
HOTSPUR: ARGH HENRY IV IS SO MEAN.
NORTHUMBERLAND: You should totally start a war.
HOTSPUR: Aha! Dad, aka Northumberland, is right! I shall declare war on King Henry! He is a stupid jerk.
KATE: Harry, aka Hotspur, you are such the best Henry ever. ::smoochies::
HAL: Wee! Highway robbery is fun!
FALSTAFF: Comic relief is fun too!
HOTSPUR: Geez, Glendower, you are so Welsh.
GLENDOWER: Yeah, well I can summon spirits from the vasty deep, how about them apples, eh?
HOTSPUR: Shush. We have a war to plan.
::some random Welsh and singing occurs::
HAL: Being a bum is such fun. Falstaff, you are as fat as a very fat person.
FALSTAFF: Yeah, well you are as skinny as something that's skinny.
RANDOM PERSON: Prince Hal, King Henry is sending for you. BUS-TED.
HENRY IV: Hal, you make me sad.
HAL: I know, you're sad I'm not more like Hotspur.
HENRY IV: You're not, are you? Because he and Northumberland and some other people totally just declared war on me.
HAL: Never fear, I shall reform and be the best Henry ever! Together we shall vanquish the forces of Henry!
SOME GUY: King Henry, Hotspur sends tidings that you are a mean jerk and he is totally going to kick your butt and become Henry IV, Part 2.
HENRY: Go tell Hotspur that if he doesn't fight, then I'll let him go on account of him being so cool. Or Hal can fight Hotspur. Whatever.
SOME GUY: So, are we going to tell Hotspur?
SOME OTHER GUY: Naah.
::a lot of fighting occurs::
HENRY: Bugger. Dad, aka Northumberland, is not here. Ah well. To war!
DOUGLAS: Are you Henry IV?
BLOUNT: Yes.
DOUGLAS: Hah! I stab at thee!
HENRY: Dude, that was totally not Henry IV.
DOUGLAS: Damn.
DOUGLAS: Bloody hell, how many Henries are in this play? Are you Henry IV?
HENRY IV: I totally am.
DOUGLAS: Have at thee!
HAL: Don't worry, I'll save you!
::HAL saves HENRY IV::
HOTPUR: Hello, Hal. So we meet again for the first time, for the last time.
HAL: This name ain't big enough for the two of us.
::HOTSPUR fights HAL::
HOTSPUR: Alas, you have killed me, Harry, aka Hal. I would totally do stuff, but I'm dead. ::dies::
HAL: Farewell, Hotspur. There was no better Henry in the land.
HENRY IV: Well, now that we've got some of that cleared up, on to the sequel!
HAL: You know, we have rather a lot of Johns hanging around...
In conclusion: "Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life!" -- Falstaff, Henry IV, Part 1, Act III Scene 3. Yep, Shakespeare owned you first.