shadydave: (do not taunt the octopus)
My subject line is a lie, the movie was terrible.

(If you haven't heard of the whitewashing casting fail, check out racebending.com for more info. I also recently read this article, which has both thoughtful analyses of current and historical fail AND awesome pictures from the show.)

Last Friday, my sister and I bought tickets for a heartwarming children's tale. That was Toy Story 3. Unfortunately, we watched The Last Failbender instead. )
shadydave: (poisoning pigeons in the park)
What's better than Shakespeare? ZOMBIE Shakespeare!

My SHAKSPEARE rise ! I will not lodge thee by
Chaucer, or Spenser, or bid Beaumont lie
A little further, to make thee a room :
Thou art a monument without a tomb,
And art alive still while thy book doth live
And we have wits to read, and praise to give.

-- From To the Memory of My Beloved Master William Shakespeare, and What He Hath Left Us, by Ben Jonson

For the BRAINS!! they raineth every day.

(And what, do Chaucer and Spenser smell? Geez, Jonson.)

The War of IV Henries: Henry IV, Part 1, A Summary )

DAMN

Apr. 5th, 2010 03:00 pm
shadydave: (poisoning pigeons in the park)
CLASH OF THE TITANS: A SUMMARY )

In conclusion: Murphy does not approve of your faily Greek myth adaptations.
shadydave: (Do not set yourself on fire)
So, last week, David's history class on the Crusades was reading The Song of Roland, so Katherine and I crashed the class and possibly got a 100 on the reading quiz, despite neither of us reading the The Song of Roland in several years. Anyways, that reminded I had an unfinished summary in one of my notebooks that I wrote during the summer while at work. So I finished it! Ta-daaaaaaa!

The Song of Roland: A Summary

PROLOGUE

Dear Marsila, King of Spain:

You are so doomed.

Love,
The Narrator


Roland: Stupid Hero, or Stupidest Hero? YOU DECIDE. )
shadydave: (by logicandchaos)
Some events of note:

- I bought evil chocolate coffee beans ($6.66/half lb.!)
- My computer battery might explode into a fiery ball of shrapnel
- Declining 'se' (the/that) in Old English makes me sound retarded
- The Tale of Culwch and Olwen is one of the most random King Arthur-related things I've ever read, and that includes everything by Malory. A summary:

Culwch's Mom: Don't ever remarry and forget our son ::dies::
Culwch's Dad: ::remarries, forgets son::
Culwch's Step-Mom: Oh, I didn't know you had a son! Uh, you can only marry Olwen, the daughter of the giant Ysbaddaddaddadden! (NB spelling approximate)
Culwch: Huzzah! I'll go ask Arthur for a hair cut.
Arthur: So, what would you like? I'll give you anything but my sword, my horse, my ship, my knife, and my shield. Oh, and my wife, I guess.
Culwch: If you could give this to me, then you are awesome. If you don't, then I'll tell everyone you suck. I swear this by --

Insert 8 pages of ridiculous Welsh names here

-- and Larry and Bob and the guy who bagged my groceries.
Arthur: OK, OK. Just... stop talking.
::Arthur, Culwch and some knights go to the lair of the giant Ysbabdbabdbadbabden. Some of them get to do stuff. Some don't. Kei rescues some guy from a box. Ysbadabdadbadbadbadabdbadbaden makes his guests feel welcome by hurling poisoned spears at them. They return the favor and give him joint pain and headaches and upset stomachs, which he complains about because apparently he has no sense of proportion, as they totally stab him in several vital organs and he doesn't even die. What a whiner::

Ysbabdbedbebdebdebdeben: Ok, you can marry my daughter if--

insert 10 pages of random stuff Culwch has to do

Culwch: Okeydokey. Arthur, get to it!

insert 20 pages of Arthur and his knights doing the things just mentioned, plus some random ones that weren't. Culwch apparently just chills, the lazy bastard

Culwch: Ok, here's all the stuff you asked for. Can I marry Olwen now?
Ysbskjhksdbkjebfkdbden: Yup. Time for me to die! ::dies::
THE END
shadydave: (Default)
...On Vacation! )

So, in all my copious free time, I read a book by Mary Shelley. You know, that chick who wrote Frankenstein.

The Last Man: A Summary )

Last weekend was fun. Kirstin came home for my parents' anniversary and yelled at the World Cup a lot. She also gave me more House and made me watch Supernatural, which I shall henceforward refer to as "spoon" (SPooN, if you like; if CHiPs can do it, so can I), because it annoys her. It's a pretty awesome show.

Finally, yesterday my dad decided to do some family bonding by making me hold the ladder while he tried to toss decomposing leaf manure on my head, a process also known to the uninitiated as "cleaning the gutters". An excerpt:

Me: Ok, dad, make sure you chuck it to the right, away from me.
Dad: ::throws huge wet smelly wad of leaves to left::
Me: YOUR OTHER RIGHT.

In other exciting news, I think the road trip is definitely going to be 7/21-23. I shall call everyone and harass you about it today.

Randomness

Jan. 31st, 2006 01:46 pm
shadydave: (http://icons.dirkdigital.com/)
Awesome:
+ I now own a copy of MST 3K: The Movie! Hurrah!
+ I made cookies for the Women's Chorus Social and for Elizabeth's family.
+ They are tasty!
+ Linguistics is fun, and gives you an excuse to make funny noises.
+ I actually looked at study abroad stuff.
+ I am not a fish filet.

Not Awesome:
- The fire alarm has gone off for the 9th time in the Bryan Complex.
- During the 8th time, I was taking a shower.
- At midnight.
- And it was around freezing outside.
- The last episode of BSG was totally weird.
- I have lots and lots of reading to do all the time. Wah.
- I locked Elizabeth out of the room.
- While she was taking a shower.
- And the only RA was in a different building.
- I am a bad roommate.

ETA:

A Summary of Volume 1 of Villette, by Charlotte Brontë
Lucy Snowe: My life sucks, but at least I'm not CATHOLIC.

Ouch.

Quote o' the Day:
"They move like no thing there has ever been. They move like mechanized doom."
--Ernest Hemingway

Mechanized Doom would be an awesome name for a band.
shadydave: (Default)
sitting in geology, having fun with the computer. have been working on englilsh paper. i love technology.

anyways, thought i would share my love of tennyson, since i just wrote a 5-page paper on it.

The Lady of Shalott: A Summary

The Lady of Shalott: ::weavity-weave-weave-weave::
Lancelot: Tirra lirra.
The Lady of Shalott: Ohh, shiny.
Mirror: ::explodes::
The Lady of Shalott: Well, crap. I guess I'm going to sing the doom song now! Doom doom doom, doomy doom doom... ::dies::
Lancelot: She seemed nice.

THE END

ETA: SAVE US )

ARGH

Apr. 13th, 2005 05:40 pm
shadydave: (Default)
things i've done recently:

-took 4 exams in one week
-went on tour with women's chorus
-had ass kicked by registration
-bought an orange mint plant and named it publius cornelius scipio africanus
-saw my parents, who came to ANOTHER concert
-wrote a paper on the medieval manuscript collections in the bodleian library that is 1200 words too long
-sat outside a lot in the LOVELY weather

the rest of this week should be fairly calm. english paper got pushed back, so really the only thing i have to do above and beyond the call of homework is stalk teachers so i can get into classes next year. this would be much simpler if they would email me back. also, i have decided i'm going to take the old english class later on, so i can read beowulf. modern languages, pah.

Wuthering Heights: A Summary )
shadydave: (Default)
saw "oooooooooooooooooooooook! lahoma" last night. it was surprisingly (for a mts production) good. everyone did a really nice job, congratulations. after the uno's partay, went to marge's and watched the ring. didn't think it was all that scary, to tell you the truth. maybe the orginal is scarier. sadly, marge had to get up at 7:30 this morning to go to work, so i just woke up too and went home. hence this lovely obnoxious, early post.

also? i went to dinner with diana, and squirted ketchup on my nose. stop laughing. it was a weird bottle, i tell you. a bottle of jet-propelled ketchup. or something.

right.

i think i'm going to go check out the proposal for the monroe scholars thing. need to get cracking. emailing my professor from last semester would probably be a good idea, no?

TEH RING OMG )

like whoa

Mar. 6th, 2005 11:02 pm
shadydave: (Default)
so i saw constantine with ashley and marge today. surprisingly, it did not suck. in fact, a lot of it was actually kind of good. and the rest was very entertaining. so really, it just wins.

constantine: a summary )
shadydave: (Default)
do you remain unconvinced that the directors could possibly fit the 4th and 5th harry potter books into individual 2.5 hour movies? well, fear not! i present to you the super-duper director's cuts (now available for wide-spread consumption)! presented in DAVE-O-VISION!!!!!

Goblet of Fire: The 'Special' Edition )
shadydave: (Default)
Paradise Lost, Book 6: a Summary

raphael: so, once upon a time...
satan: ::rebel::
day 1:
god: dum de doo.
good angels: ::win::
bad angels: ::whine::
day 2:
god: dum de doo.
satan: you know what we need? cannons.
::builds cannons::
good angels: you know what we need? mountains.
::everyone throws mountains::
mountains: ::squish::
day 3:
god: you know, it's time to kick some butt.
jesus: BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! ::rides flaming cherubic chariot and hurls thunderbolts::
bad angels: aieeeeeee! runaway from jesus! ::fall into hell::
raphael: and that is why YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE GOD ANGRY. the end.

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