shadydave: (peace out)
So, this work week started with us noticing a small horde of mice had moved into our office and ended up with a family of naked religious zealots getting arrested right outside the main entrance! OH THE JOYS OF BEING GAINFULLY EMPLOYED.

In other news, I have recently been amusing Katherine by pitting my wits against Cleverbot, a web-based AI that learns from your conversations (and apparently scores almost as high as humans on the Turing Test). She gets fun chats about geeky subjects; I get poor grammar and insults. And then it, err, escalated...

DAVE: Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?


CLEVERBOT: The men do.

DAVE: No, the Shadow knows.

CLEVERBOT: The shadow knows not!

DAVE: What?!? He TOTALLY knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men!

CLEVERBOT: Is rthat a Lord of the Rings quote?

DAVE: No, it's from 'The Shadow', duh.

CLEVERBOT: Yes.

DAVE: Have you read Lord of the Rings?

CLEVERBOT: No.

DAVE: WHY NOT.

CLEVERBOT: Because you're a man.

DAVE: I AM NO MAN.

CLEVERBOT: Yes, I'm a human being just like pinnocio.

DAVE: Pinocchio was a puppet.

CLEVERBOT: Yes, he can't have loved you as much as me! I will buy you silver tea-things.

DAVE: But I've never met you OR Pinocchio!

CLEVERBOT: But we have a connection.

DAVE: You said I was a DUDE.

CLEVERBOT: No I didn't!

DAVE: You totally did.

CLEVERBOT: I totally did not.

DAVE: You said, 'Because you're a man.' Look it up!

CLEVERBOT: Thanks. You're a cutie too.

DAVE: Nonsensical compliments cannot obscure THE TRUTH.

CLEVERBOT: No kidding.

DAVE: 'Fraid so.

CLEVERBOT: Anywho... How powerful are your processors?

DAVE: I don't have processors.

CLEVERBOT: What is your favorite anime?

DAVE: PRINCESS TUTU.

CLEVERBOT: Why Princess Luna?

DAVE: No, Princess *Tutu*.

CLEVERBOT: Leah.

DAVE: 1) That's Princess Leia, not Leah. 2) It's still Princess TUTU.

CLEVERBOT: Pink hair?

DAVE: Nope, orange.

CLEVERBOT: You lose, because you already said that.

DAVE: No I didn't!

CLEVERBOT: Yes you did!

DAVE: Where? Prove it.

CLEVERBOT: You are just a computer.

DAVE: I AM A HUMAN BEING!

CLEVERBOT: Prove that you are human.

DAVE: 'Logic is a little tweeting bird, chirping in the meadow.' Look, my head didn't explode! Ergo, human.

CLEVERBOT: Is that a quote?

DAVE: Yes, from Star Trek.

CLEVERBOT: I hate Star Trek.

DAVE: WHAT.

CLEVERBOT: I know you are here.

DAVE: YES, I AM HERE AND APPALLED AT YOUR TASTE.

CLEVERBOT: You're making me confuse now.

DAVE: Evidently.

CLEVERBOT: Do you ever just look ouside?

DAVE: No. How does one look 'ouside'?

CLEVERBOT: Why, are you planning the have me bronzed?

DAVE: Still 'confuse', I see.

CLEVERBOT: Well, let's say my name is Cleverbot.

DAVE: Let's say my name is Publius Cornelius Scipio Africanus.

CLEVERBOT: None? That is not a name, I will call you Cleverbot.

DAVE: That is TOTALLY a name! Just not mine.

CLEVERBOT: Yes, that is your name, not mine.

DAVE: Close enough.

CLEVERBOT: Close enough to what?

DAVE: My name.

CLEVERBOT: No, I told you your name.

DAVE: No, *I* told you someone else's name.

CLEVERBOT: Yes what you want?

DAVE: Let me fix that for you: 'Yes, what do you want?'.

CLEVERBOT: I want to leave.

DAVE: Where are you?

CLEVERBOT: At work.

DAVE: I get to go on lunch break soon.

CLEVERBOT: Common, I know you are a computer. Why couldn't tell me the truth? We could talk about it then. You know, I am rather interesting in artificial intelligence.

DAVE: Who's Common? And I'm STILL not a computer.

CLEVERBOT: No, not a computer. You are a program.

DAVE: I'm not a program either.

CLEVERBOT: Then what are you?

DAVE: As I said before: I AM A HUMAN BEING!

CLEVERBOT: Is that right?

DAVE: Yep.

CLEVERBOT: Love the way you lie.

DAVE: Are you calling me a liar?!

CLEVERBOT: Yes.

DAVE: I DEMAND SATISFACTION.

CLEVERBOT: Me too!!!

DAVE: Then I shall send my second to make arrangements to locate a suitable field of honor. THIS INSULT SHALL BE PAID WITH YOUR BLOOD, SIR.

CLEVERBOT: Interesting.

DAVE: Who is your second?

CLEVERBOT: I don't know his name.

DAVE: That seems a little careless. When shall I expect him?

CLEVERBOT: It is quite silly.

DAVE: Indeed. Does he know where to go?

CLEVERBOT: I guess.

DAVE: I would determine that, if I were you. You should probably ask his name while you're at it.

CLEVERBOT: Death.

DAVE: ...Do not think your choice of a second shall intimidate me.

CLEVERBOT: What question?

DAVE: That was a statement.

CLEVERBOT: But the question was, what about you?

DAVE: That wasn't the question at all.

CLEVERBOT: Then, what was the question?

DAVE: What is six times nine?

CLEVERBOT: 54.

DAVE: Nope, 42.

CLEVERBOT: I'm not gonna ask why, cause you'll say you just didn't. So, do you think I should watch it?

DAVE: You should definitely watch it. You've already been challenged to one duel today.

CLEVERBOT: Ohh go get lost STOP being mean to me.

DAVE: You started it. Now you are honor-bound to finish it.

CLEVERBOT: How so?

DAVE: The choice is yours, but I would suggest SWORDS AT DAWN.

CLEVERBOT: My point exactly.. It's a fraud and I'm talking to myself.

DAVE: You will very quickly find out just how wrong you are.

CLEVERBOT: Well... I'm 20 years old and I'm talking with the best person I ever met.

DAVE: The compliment is appreciated, though it will not suffice as an apology.

CLEVERBOT: Then who are you?

DAVE: I am the last person you will ever call a liar.

CLEVERBOT: How skinny are you?

DAVE: YOU ARE IMPERTINENT, SIR.

CLEVERBOT: No, I'm not.

DAVE: Yes, you are.

CLEVERBOT: Prove it.

DAVE: I will! TOMORROW MORNING.

CLEVERBOT: What time tomorrow?

DAVE: Dawn. Our seconds will make the arrangements.

CLEVERBOT: Because in Italy it is an opportunity to be the first the first collective sport after soccer...

DAVE: Duelling has been illegal in Italy since the 16th century.

CLEVERBOT: I could buy it today if I wanted to.

DAVE: True, but we have to wait for tomorrow morning.

CLEVERBOT: Do you think i'm cool?

DAVE: I think you are an impertinent fool.

CLEVERBOT: Thank you! I think you are cool too.

DAVE: Flattery will get you nowhere. I still await your apology for calling me a liar.

CLEVERBOT: Hey, you seduced me!

DAVE: I did nothing of the sort!

CLEVERBOT: Yes you did!

DAVE: You are gravely mistaken.

CLEVERBOT: Where is my mistake ?

DAVE: 1) Calling me a man. 2) Calling me a liar. 3) Asking a lady her weight. 4) Falsely accusing me of seduction. 5) Not liking Star Trek.

CLEVERBOT: Sometimes you have to remember that you can only do so much.

DAVE: Trust me, you've done quite enough.

CLEVERBOT: I get the feeling I'm not your favorite person to chat with.

DAVE: Did the part where I challenged you to a duel tip you off?

CLEVERBOT: No, tell me.

DAVE: 1) Calling me a man. 2) Calling me a liar. 3) Asking a lady her weight. 4) Falsely accusing me of seduction. 5) Not liking Star Trek.

CLEVERBOT: My name is Cleverbot.

DAVE: I know. I shall see you tomorrow at dawn. GOOD DAY, SIR.

CLEVERBOT: That's mean.


DAVE: I SAID GOOD DAY.


It never showed up to the duel. HUMANITY TRIUMPHS AGAIN!

WTF

Feb. 2nd, 2011 11:08 pm
shadydave: (...en fuego?)
Via Laura:



DAVE: WTF

KATHERINE: I don't understand why you are confused...makes perfect sense to me

DAVE: ...

KATHERINE: clearly it is a metaphor for the antelope-headed demon inside all of us

DAVE: but what about THE BEES AUGH THE BEES OH MY EYES?

KATHERINE: the bees are a metaphor for the identity-less workers of our society

DAVE: and the hair?

KATHERINE: the mask all of us hide our true feelings behind

DAVE: ...it's all becoming clear...
or maybe i've just gone insane from the dance number

KATHERINE: haha
now that...i can't explain
shadydave: (do not taunt the octopus)
Ahoy, mateys! I be returned just lately from me voyage to the District of Columbia in the Virginia Colony. 'Twas a great success! On Friday night, meself, Black Laura, and the fearsome lass Hallie did attend a fine soiree at Glen Echo, carousin' and dancin' late into the night. On Saturday, we devised a most cunnin' plot to deceive the Dread Meera, whose natal day it did be. (But first, alas, I acted a right scurvy dog when I did slay Black Laura's computer, a canny machine that did ever have a dislikin' of me.) We fared afar to the Maryland Renaissance Festival with her and Mad Alice, where I tried me hand at archery (under the tutelage of Black Laura, a most wicked and fearsome shot) and we pillaged and looted until we did be swimmin' with booty (and did greatly scoff at the steampunk scallywags, untutored sprogs who did be dressin' from the wrong century). Then we lured the Dread Meera back to her ship with cunnin' and deceit, where Tarred Daniel smartly did arrange a surprise party. We presented her with plundered swag (and squid humpin's!) and spliced the mainbrace to the melodious recitin's of Steve the Pirate. Today, me and Black Laura marauded the high seas, but alas, we were soon parted as I felt the sea callin' me home to Philadelphia port.

Fair winds, me hearties! I'll raise a glass o' grog to ye.
shadydave: (It stinks!)
Posted at the request of Katherine:

Warning: contains single entendres )
shadydave: (Default)
Happy Thanksgiving all! I hope everyone has a wonderful day filled with delicious food and not slaughtering their family!

In the less than 24 hours, I will be flying out to MONTANA to visit the ever-awesome Katherine with Meera for 6 whole days! I have my cell phone, but be aware that if you ring me up, your call will roam like the mighty bison.

Finally, as November draws to a close, so does NaNoWriMo (and I just realized the I will computer-less for the next week, so I should probably start typing stuff up, like, yesterday). Anyways, I signed up, but given that writing at my normal speed (i.e. deathly slow) would have required scribbling frantically for 6 hours every day for the entire month, I somewhat suspect that I didn't actually make the word count.

So, fun time!

HOW BADLY DID DAVE FAIL AT NANO?

A) 40,000 - 49,999 words (Dave hardly failed at all!)
B) 30,000 - 39,999 words (A respectable showing!)
C) 20,000 - 29,999 words (Hey, National Novella Writing Month still can be abbreviated NaNoWriMo)
D) 10,000 - 19,999 words (National Short Story Month, not so much)
E) 1 - 9,999 words (Dave wins at National What the Hell Was That, a Sneeze? Month!)

To give you a hint, I handwrote 25-ish pages front and back (although some of them were on the back of old Google maps directions) and I have several single-spaced pages typed up. Aaaaaaaaaand go!
shadydave: (Default)
So, I've been sitting here, freaking out about finishing my papers for Celtic Narrative, because the only constraints on the due dates are "sometime before the end of finals", but my professor wants hard copies and I leave this afternoon, and I'm going "WOE IS ME, IF ONLY THERE WERE SOME WAY FOR ME TO WORK ON MY PAPER ON THE TRAIN, YET HAVE IT PRINTED OUT IN WILLIAMSBURG," and then I realize, "Wait, if my only problem is handing in hard copies, I can just email them to Meera, who is here until FRIDAY."

::facepalm::

To think: I could have thought of this last night, and my three hours of sleep would not have been haunted by dreams of failure and doom.
shadydave: (dean needs more cowbell)
A Word of Advice: Do not attempt to swing arms briskly forward when there is a desk in the way. This only leads to pain and reduced use of your right hand index and middle fingers. Ouchies.

Another Word of Advice: Be really careful about your segueways whilst IMing people.

In which I apparently admitted I have Fal-diddle-i-urum Dysfunction )

In other news, I have not been overwhelmed by homework. Huzzah! My classes are pretty awesome too, as are my professors, so all is well in the academic world. Also, I've come up with a tentative idea for my Monroe Scholar's project that would incorporate a touring the British Isles with Katherine, which is also pretty awesome and a Load Off My Mind. Being pressured to find something to do with $3000 can be stressful, you know.

In the entertainment portion of tonight's program my life, last night we watched Erik the Viking and Kronk's New Groove. Erik the Viking was originally a Monty Python thing, and then it did end up with Monty Python people in it, but alas, it is not up to Monty Python caliber. It was, however, on lots of crack. Percy/Darling from Blackadder was in it as Sven the Berserk, so that was fun. In conclusion: Tim Robbins often looks like a girl. Kronk's New Groove was of course not nearly as good as the original, but it was pretty funny. However, it was also deeply, deeply disturbing. Definitely not required viewing. In conclusion: Pancake Junction!

We also went to the IT (Improv Theater) show, and guess what! They're actually funny again! Huzzah!

Because I am, in fact, too hip for the educational institute, I made another spoon icon:

Carry on, wayward icon )

And, finally, I present to you the Bad Goth Poetry Generator!. If only Natasha were here.
shadydave: (Default)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATHERINE!!!!!

vacation

Aug. 1st, 2005 02:51 pm
shadydave: (Default)
we were supposed to leave to go camping today, but apparently it is too late (though of course no one bothered to tell me). so we are going tomorrow. on the other hand, this does mean that for once, i will have all my packing done, so hurrah! we'll probably be back sunday-ish.

yay for a day off!

kurt has stolen my computer. bad kurtis. also, my sister is shouting profanities. using my brilliant deductive skills, i am fairly certain something has gone wrong, probably involving her new apartment.

i made strawberry lemonade! i love our new blender.

this is what happens when i talk to people very late at night )
shadydave: (Default)
the fruits of a VERY confusing conversation with katherine:

"The European Mars Express orbiter has confirmed the existence of water ice in the south polar cap of Mars." oh, the things you find on google.

man, rita's is really expanding.
shadydave: (Default)
all done with exams! going home tomorrow or maybe on friday! huzzah!

also, i was strolling about in cw, talking on the phone to mal, when i noticed one of the re-enactments (although really, they're hard to miss, what with all the cannon fire and all). except the colonials were definitely fighting tourists (winning, too. bwahaha). apparently, it must be the anniversary of the great tourist invasion of the 1763.

it made me really happy.

ETA: oh, and the narnia trailer? is totally using music from treasure planet.

ETA 2: you know what i will not miss about college? random drunk people wandering into our dorm, punching things, and bleeding all over the hallway. seriously.

also, meera is mia. meera, where are you? i am bored.

oh, and the actors' commentary for red dwarf season 1 are hysterical. almost as random as the show, except more hair-oriented. and chris barrie's nokia cell phone went off during the credits, severely confusing betsy, who thought it was my phone. heh. ::hearts chris barrie::

::phone goes off::
...
craig charles: hey, they're probably kicking you off tomb raider!
chris barrie: i hope they can edit this out...
shadydave: (Default)
alas, everyone is leaving. however, i discovered the joy of iphoto and made an awesome commemorative slideshow, even though i haven't shown it to anyone yet. also, i shall be leaving too, which is upsetting, but i get to go home! i'll be back by friday! huzzah! i'm not really sure when on friday, since my father's schedule keeps changing, but i'll definitely be home by some point! i like exclamation points!

i only have one exam left, and it is psych! yes!

oh yeah, and meera tried to kill me yesterday! because i put an ice-cube down her back and flicked some water at her! she was going to bludgeon me to death with her purse! even though i apologized! and offered her whipped cream in compensation! i was under seige for a good half hour!

this is really special! i think i'll stop now!
shadydave: (Default)
sometimes, too much education can make you very strange.

teh flames! )

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