shadydave: (peace out)
Happy Pi Day! In celebration, I made a honey pecan pie! And as my sister so cunningly pointed out, you can't have a Round Table without pi, so I present to you the story I started... two years ago! (You'll notice it's set at Christmas. My sense of timing, as ever, is unerring.)

Being a Most Glorious Account of the Founding of the Round Table

How ARTHUR did create, from the SAD WRECKKAGE of a moste vicious CHRISTMAS AFFRAY, a symbol of ORDER and JUSTICE with the aide of his moste fayre ladye GUINEVERE, Sir GAWAIN the FLOWRE of CORTESIE, the ladye ANNA moste GILDED with LOVE amongst alle maydens, ond Sir KAY with the PARLOUS FOWLEDING CHAIR. )
shadydave: (peace out)
Earlier this year, there was talk of Showtime producing a show called Camelot, to fill the soapy anachronistic void in its programming left by The Tudors. So last night I decided to find out if anything was in development. Who knew it would be such an emotional roller coaster (emocoaster?) of a journey?

1. "Oh, Starz is producing? Between that and Torchwood, it'll be like one-stop-shopping for lolarity."

2. "Wow, Joseph Fiennes? How'd they get him to sign without promising puffy shorts?"

3. "Claire Forlani and Eva Green? Don't these people have movies to be in?"

4. "HAHAHA KING ARTHUR WAS IN TWILIGHT."

5. "...Dude, Kay is kind of hot o.O"

6. "Who knows, this could actually be kind of decent--"

7. "CHRIS CHIBNALL?!"

8. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK."

9. "Right, well, now there's no way it'll be good. Will it even be worth the aggravation to watch? I'd just get--"

10. "PHILLIP WINCHESTER!!!!!"

...So yeah, I'll probably be watching it anyway. I mean, if I only wanted to watch GOOD adaptations of Arthuriana, I'd basically have to play Monty Python and the Holy Grail on repeat*. WHY START HAVING STANDARDS NOW.

* ...More so than I already do.
shadydave: (peace out)
Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett )

The Demon's Covenant, by Sarah Rees Brennan )

Gwenhwyfar: the White Spirit, by Mercedes Lackey )
shadydave: (peace out)
Did you know that the Knights of the Round Table invented the pick-up line?

And thus Sir Gawain spake thusly, Ladye, in sooth thou muste be soore weried, for with michel fleetness of foote thou hast flied both toward and froward throughout min swefnes all the nicht!
-- "La Morte D'Arthvader"

Anyways, find this instructive tidbit and more in "When You Marry", one of those amazingly helpful efforts from the 50s and 60s designed to tell you almost nothing useful about dating, love, sex, and marriage: Love, 1962 American High School Style.

And go watch some MST3K while you're at it:

Are You Ready for Marriage?
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE RUBBER BAND?!

What To Do on a Date
Had this been an actual date, you would have been instructed where to go.
shadydave: (bad-ass helmet)
Apparently last year I didn't post on Pi Day.

D:

This is unconscionable!

In return, have a trippy, creepy video and a scene from my next story, which, while it does not have pi, DOES have pie, which is almost as good.

D&D + Robots + Fake Children's TV + Sketchy Dude = π )

Despite all evidence to the contrary, this is actually about the founding of the Round Table )
shadydave: (bad-ass helmet)
So, Courtney and I were discussing how fandom has basically operated the same way for the past several millenia, and the comparison between the monks who wrote Arthurian Grail quests and the Old School Who fans came up, leading to... OUTPOST CAMELOT.

ARTHURIAN LOLFANDOM )

The flame wars when the Victorian n00bs joined the discussion would have been epic, had everyone not been, you know, dead.
shadydave: (...en fuego?)
Yay, new SPooN preview!

Trailer et commentary )

Yesterday was my birthday! Went out to Blue Pacific in KOP with Marge and Laura, which was quite tasty and not hideously expensive. Tonight my parents are taking me out to the Cheesecake Factory, and we are going out to Iron Hill tomorrow for my mom's birthday. It's a very birthday-filled weekend. Also, I will probably never have to eat again.

And I finally posted my story from Nano!

Defende Nos in Proelio

Not, as mea soror would have it, Defende NOSE in Proelio, because noses don't really fit into the theme. King Arthur, cannibalism, and pie, yes, but not so much noses. And I am totally not fishing for comments.
shadydave: (bad-ass helmet)
DEFENDE NOS IN PROELIO

PART THE FIRST

PART THE SECOND )

AUTHOR'S NOTES )
shadydave: (bad-ass helmet)
At long last, it is finished!

Defende Nos in Proelio
NaNoWriMo NaShoStoWriMo '08
~13,000 words (Yes, this took me the entire month. I write slow, ok?)
WARNING: Contains strong language, anthropophagy, blatant anachronism, research done entirely on Wikipedia, and Sir Kay.

How ARTHUR, the conquerour curtaise and gentill, sekinge succoure doth adventure with his moste loiall knyghtez SIR BEDWYR and SIR KAY to the straunge and uncouthe londe of ARMORICA, and how he doth battle with ane EOTENDE, the fulsomeste freke that ever was fourmede. )

PART THE SECOND
shadydave: (Default)
So, work hasn't exactly been exciting recently, with the exception of Governor Rendell signing the new budget for PA public schools, which was pretty cool. It's supposed to allocate more money without raising taxes, which I am a fan of, although since our school district alone has an adequacy gap of $4000/kid, I somehow doubt it will take care of ALL the budget problems.

Oh, and I also have job security now, since our Main Office secretary is transferring to the Transportation office, which means our Registrar's assistant will take over the Main Office, which means I will be the Registrar's assistant. Hurrah!

In other exciting news, I had a dentist's appointment, and there was NOTHING WRONG with my teeth! Amazing!

In the entertainment portion of our program, Marge and I tried to see WALL-E last weekend, but were THWARTED when the power in the theater went out. This also happened when we went to see I, Robot, which makes me wonder if we are somehow in a low-budget Terminator situation where we are critical to stopping a robot uprising in the future, and the robots are traveling back in time to keep us from watching robot movies which hold the key to our success.

However, we DID see The Dark Knight, which was super awesome. As has been widely reported, Heath Ledger is really creepy as the Joker, and totally deserves an Oscar nomination. Maggie Gyllenhaal is also much more awesome than Katie Holmes, although this does not explain why she looks a thousand years old. Christian Bale remains hot, although sadly did not spend nearly as much time with his shirt off in this movie.

ETA: I forgot to link to Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, aka "What I did during the writer's strike, by Joss Whedon, age 6." It's a mini-musical! About supervillains! It's got awesome music and Nathan Fillion singing (in addition to typical Joss Whedonosity, but I won't get into that)! If you're a fan of Buffy, Angel, Firefly, or just awesome things in general, go watch it! Right now! < /exclamation point >

I finally got around to reading Havemercy, which is the book by Jaida Jones (of Shoebox Project fame) and Dani Bennett. It was good, but not as awesome as Shoebox, and I think I would have enjoyed it a little more if I didn't have such high expectations. However, if you want to read about mechanical dragons, this is the book for you! Because there is nothing that is not awesome about mechanical dragons.

I also finished reading Parzival, which is Wolfram von Eschenbach's (complete but not as good) version of Chrétien's Perceval/The Story of the Grail. You can tell them apart because Chrétien smokes the good stuff while Wolfram is moderately insane.

Quotes o' Crazy )

Anyways, like the many generations of readers of Arthurian literature before me, I was inspired to iconage.

Medieval icons ::ba-dump chh!:: )

And now for the weather.
shadydave: (leather coat guy)
Aaaaaaaaand the first full week of class is complete! I like all my classes (Shakespeare's Comedies and Histories, Shame and Self-Respect, Worlds of Music, and Phonetics and Phonology), though I did have existential angst about dropping Language Patterns because 1) it looked really interesting, 2) the prof seemed awesome, and 3) there were lots of cool people in it! However, I decided that since I can't write an honors thesis (::grumble::), I'd like to work on my Monroe Slacker's Project instead, and I don't think I'd have enough time to do that with 5 classes. It made me very sad, though.

Last night was exciting fun. We had tea and scones at Katherine's, then played the King Arthur drinking game (not with actual alcohol, though, because A, you would die, and B, we were watching it in a classroom) because Natasha had never seen the movie, although since she didn't really hear a whole lot of the movie over the mockery, I'm not sure how much of it she actually absorbed. However, this is not necessarily a bad thing, since watching Clive Owen ride around in armor is movie enough for me. After that, we went over to David's, met his iiiiiiiiiinteresting middle-aged roommate Tim, and watched Anchorman on Tim's very excellent TV while eating watermelon soaked in Malibu, which was also iiiiiiiiinteresting. When we got back to campus, we ran through all the sprinklers on Barksdale, and it was awesome. Also, wet.

Kirstin called me today to inform me that she bought a silver Dodge Avenger. I told her that "The Silver Avenger" is definitely a superhero name. Fight crime with great gas mileage!

I finished reading The Merchant of Venice for the first time today. Not only did it remind me how awesome this movie was, but it has also led me to the conclusion that Portia is actually a professional secret agent. No one just happens to brilliantly cross-dress, have an intimate knowledge of Venetian law, and have an information network that can determine the status of Antonio's boats before he knows. Super spy!

Finally, link spam!

Wall-mounted keyboards? It must be THE FUTURE! Or anyways, what they thought the future would look like, a hundred years back.

Going along with the theme, this sounds like the AWESOMEST IDEA EVER. Except we obviously couldn't dress up like colonials because no one would notice. I really like the idea of setting off a smoke bomb, then staggering out of the ensuing clouds and going "WHAT YEAR IS IT?" It involves small explosions AND messing with people's heads! (Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics Awesomeness suggests after you receive the answer to yell "NO! I've gone too far! I'VE GONE TOO FAR!!!!!" which I also advocate.)

Finally, the music video of "Rapper's Delight" is proof positive that the 70's was a bad, bad time. Also, one of the more hilarious things I've ever seen. (Watch out for the guy jamming in the background around 3:50). Most rappers nowadays wouldn't be caught dead in a turtleneck, but compared to the leisure suits everyone else is wearing, Master Gee is the baddest mofo to hit the streets. We watched this in Worlds of Music, which should demonstrate the awesomeness of that class.
shadydave: (Default)
My sister just called me, completely enraged, to tell me I am the world's biggest bum because I am going to a party instead of the premiere of Stardust. My family is too cool for school.

Anyways, Disney World was fun! It was really hot though, and one day it rained so hard we just gave up on being dry and spent the entire time completely soaked (this was the one time I was glad that it was hot). Also, an inordinate time of our television watching was devoted to Hannah Montana, because Kurt has a PROBLEM. He also lost his Blackberry. I, however, found a fastpass for Expedition Everest and went on the rollercoaster again while he and Kirstin reported it to the staff. It's probably karma. Also, I am now the proud owner of a piratical Mickey Mouse ears.

THE COOL RIDES:
1. Rockin' Rollercoaster (or possibly the Rock and Rollercoaster)
2. Splash and
3. Space Mountains
4. Dinosaur
5. Expedition Everest

4/5 of these are rollercoasters, which should tell you something about my thrillseeking profile.

LAMEST RIDE EVER:
1. The Great Movie Ride -- seriously, this ride sucks out loud, and we had an über-fake perky tour guide, which made it even worse.

Speaking of lame, I now am, in the traditional sense. I think I've like, stress fractured the ball of my right foot or something from walking around so much. It's getting slightly better, but if it hasn't improved by Monday I'm going to get it looked at. Also, it is annoying because it hurts to drive. Unexpected Bonus: Kurt has had to drive us in to school, and since the Crown Vic has no gas, we've had to use the Loser Cruiser, which Kurt detests. Hehehehe.

I got paid today! I got a raise in July, and have calculated that, working 8-hour days, I would make $6.66/hr. Awesome.

Finally, I had a dream the other night where I explained to my sister the relationship between the Quest del saint graal and La Morte D'Arthur. I can now officially say I can explain Arthuriana in my sleep (I can recite the Latin first declension endings while somnolent, as well). This is what happens when you work hard, people.

And then I had a dream where Natasha and I were taking another Religious Studies class together, but we kept getting interrupted by dragons.

IN CONCLUSION: 1) Disney totally lies when they say Disney World is the place where dreams come true, because I still can't fly; 2) Given the rest of my dreams, this may be a good thing.
shadydave: (It stinks!)
Sometimes, when I contemplate the amount of work I have to do on my Monroe Scholar's Project, I become filled with woe and there is grinding and gnashing of teeth. But then I'll read something like "Sir Gawain and the Couch Adventurous", and it all goes away.

Malevolent Arthurian furniture FTW!
shadydave: (leather coat guy)
I am rather amused that Youtube's advertisements state "Huge stock of Robots at low prices!" Wow! Just what I needed!

Both my dad and his secretary are on vacation today, so I arrived at 7:00 AM (CURSE YOU CARPOOLING!) to find the principal's office locked. This was unfortunate, but not as unfortunate as the back hallway ALSO being locked, because that's where the toaster and microwave are, and I really wanted to eat breakfast. Eventually, Elizabeth the Main Office Secretary arrived and said she might have a key. It turned out she had one for my dad's office and the back hallway, but not for the actual rest of the principal's office. Fortunately, someone had forgotten to lock the door between the main office and the principal's office, so I was able to get into there and thus to my dad's. The principal's office remained shut until Gloria got there with her keys, which was actually kind of awesome, because I was assured of no one bothering me about cell phones or summer school or crap like that while I was eating breakfast. Since Gloria is also on vacation tomorrow, she gave me her key, so I'll be able to get in. Also, maybe I should filch my dad's, since Elizabeth might not be in tomorrow to open his office. Hmmm. He's in Michigan, it's not like he's gonna need them. I can carry around his giant key-ring and feel SUPER COOL. Especially while I stand there trying to figure out which one of the thirty I need.

Anyways, while I was pretending to be a Serious Scholar and work on my Monroe Project, I noticed an interesting phenomenomenon. enomenon. enon.

Perceval: Now with 100% more subtext! )

In conclusion: No Dad + no Maria + nothing to do except sit at a desk = watching MST3K at work! For the win.
shadydave: (by logicandchaos)
Some events of note:

- I bought evil chocolate coffee beans ($6.66/half lb.!)
- My computer battery might explode into a fiery ball of shrapnel
- Declining 'se' (the/that) in Old English makes me sound retarded
- The Tale of Culwch and Olwen is one of the most random King Arthur-related things I've ever read, and that includes everything by Malory. A summary:

Culwch's Mom: Don't ever remarry and forget our son ::dies::
Culwch's Dad: ::remarries, forgets son::
Culwch's Step-Mom: Oh, I didn't know you had a son! Uh, you can only marry Olwen, the daughter of the giant Ysbaddaddaddadden! (NB spelling approximate)
Culwch: Huzzah! I'll go ask Arthur for a hair cut.
Arthur: So, what would you like? I'll give you anything but my sword, my horse, my ship, my knife, and my shield. Oh, and my wife, I guess.
Culwch: If you could give this to me, then you are awesome. If you don't, then I'll tell everyone you suck. I swear this by --

Insert 8 pages of ridiculous Welsh names here

-- and Larry and Bob and the guy who bagged my groceries.
Arthur: OK, OK. Just... stop talking.
::Arthur, Culwch and some knights go to the lair of the giant Ysbabdbabdbadbabden. Some of them get to do stuff. Some don't. Kei rescues some guy from a box. Ysbadabdadbadbadbadabdbadbaden makes his guests feel welcome by hurling poisoned spears at them. They return the favor and give him joint pain and headaches and upset stomachs, which he complains about because apparently he has no sense of proportion, as they totally stab him in several vital organs and he doesn't even die. What a whiner::

Ysbabdbedbebdebdebdeben: Ok, you can marry my daughter if--

insert 10 pages of random stuff Culwch has to do

Culwch: Okeydokey. Arthur, get to it!

insert 20 pages of Arthur and his knights doing the things just mentioned, plus some random ones that weren't. Culwch apparently just chills, the lazy bastard

Culwch: Ok, here's all the stuff you asked for. Can I marry Olwen now?
Ysbskjhksdbkjebfkdbden: Yup. Time for me to die! ::dies::
THE END
shadydave: (poisoning pigeons in the park)
Dude, the guy who directed Excalibur also directed Deliverance. That would explain the creepy.

Finished a rough draft for my paper on Excalibur; the only problem is that I think the movie makes sense to me now. I don't know whether this is because they put actual effort into the script, or because I've gone insane.
shadydave: (DESTROY!!)
So! In honor of having finally started my paper, I present to you the awards show for all the bizarre Arthurian stuff I saw:

The Arthurs! )

And here are some brief summaries for all of them, in case you were interested: All the Stuff I Saw in Three Words or Less )
shadydave: (Default)
-last day of work! whoo!
-have gotten my sister similarly obsessed with battlestar galactica. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I WILL GET YOU ALL!!!!!
-there's a james bond movie with ninjas. who knew? you only live twice
-I'M GOING TO SEE SPAMALOT THIS WEEKEND.
shadydave: (Default)
Camelot in three words or less:
Proposition: Lancelot sucks.

Also signed up for Netflix. They are sending me bad King Arthur movies even as we speak. However, I will say it again: Camelot is awesome and everyone should watch it. I'll admit that I'm leaving my project kind of late, but hey, it could be worse. I mean, the paper's not even due until September, and I've started in JULY. I think that may be some kind of record for me.

In other productive news, I've decided to read honest-to-goodness LITERATURE. The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens. It's quite funny. I like Dickens, even though judging by the size of this monstrosity he was obviously trying to purchase some kind of yacht. It's a veritable celebration of getting paid by the word.

Also, I made lemonade yesterday. It was rather strong, so I guess I shouldn't use one lemon per glass. I like lemons. In retrospect, however, it seems that perhaps I shouldn't have stored the sugar syrup in an Aquafina bottle that is sitting next to other Aquafina bottles on a day where the heat index is somewhere around 115º. My mother certainly didn't think so. I assumed that people wouldn't drink a mysterious golden liquid without looking, but I was wrong.

On a completely unrelated note, I was listening to my iPod and noticed that if you switched the gender of the singer in "All Day and All of the Night," the song sounds ridiculously needy:

I'�m not content to be with you in the daytime
[...] I want to be with you all of the time
The only time I feel alright is by your side
[...] I want to be with you all of the time
All day and all of the night

[...]

I believe that you and me last forever
Oh yea, all day and nighttime yours, leave me never
The only time I feel alright is by your side
[...] I want to be with you all of the time
All day and all of the night


Gloria Steinem would spit on any woman who sung this. Somehow, there is a double standard here.

Although the Kinks are still awesome.
shadydave: (Default)
If You Ruled the Land . . . by wackyweasel
Your first name:
How you gained your rule:
Your title is:The Boss
Your symbol is:the snake, because you can wear it like a feather boa
You rule from:a great, golden, gem-studded palace
At your side is:your griffon steed, Simba
Your enforcers, troops, and guards are all:laser-gun-totin' space pirates!
Your most popular law is:Karaoke Wednesdays, with prizes! EVERYWHERE!!
Your least popular law is:Banning of the quote marks hand gesture
Your worst enemy is:your unstable water bed - how can you sleep?!
Your popularity rating is:: 30%
Your chance of being overthrown is:: 31%
Quiz created with MemeGen!


heh.

reached new levels of cool on friday night, when i stayed home, watched the sci-fi channel, and played on my computer until 2 AM. go me. hung out with sproat and feeney on saturday, and went to see star wars again with mal on saturday night. last night, we visited kirstin and took her to dinner at the spaghetti warehouse. v. tasty, complete with a cute waiter.

also, i made cookies. go me!

started my monroe scholars project too, which shows a rather impressively low level of procrastination. for me, at least. anyways, started watching camelot, which (unlike all other king arthur movies) is actually good. richard harris is pretty awesome. lancelot is less a jerk than in the once and future king, which is good, because i stopped reading because of him. of course, i'm only halfway through the movie, but whatever. vanessa redgrave has very long fingers. richard harris definitely wins, however, for hiding in trees and running around screaming "ROUND TABLE!!!!!" have been taking all sorts of notes of varying usefulness, from "lancelot's view of chivalry" to "guinevere looks like a snowbeast" to "is arthur wearing eyeshadow?" (the answer is yes.) i am so on top of things, except not really.

where is my lunch?

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